Things I’d like to see coming.

During these months when I was away, nothing much has really happened. I felt that nil amount was worth talking about hence I decided to take a break from typing here. It’s not that I have decided to turn my back on my blog. It’s just simply not as playful and alarming as my life used to be.

For a moment there, I was having thoughts of all those mean people that find it pleasing to bad mouth other people. I still remember their faces pretentious, wickedly unnatural and despicable. People try to give gossip a bad name, but it’s just human nature. In fact I think we get worse as we get older. We just have to remember to keep it light. It’s when it becomes personal that it’s harmful.

If you must know, I am looking forward to many things that are going to happen. This coming Thursday is one of it. Furthermore, my mom is coming to visit mid of May for 2 weeks and in addition to that my two younger twin sisters are coming as well. There will be days when Wes and I have to work, they will just have to stay at home and do whatever they like. Dare I say boredom is also in the picture? On the contrary, their trip seems to coincide with my mom’s 52nd birthday. We will be baking her a proper cake and take her out for a nice dinner.

As a host myself, I have organized some get together nights. It’s more like bonding a few of my Lim family members with the Chong family.

Dinner parties are the new decadence. Only you can handpick the right people, dishes and setting for an unforgettable evening. Dinner parties guarantee not only the best but the only table in the house. No distractions, no strangers, no need to edit the gossip. It’s all up close and personal, a chance to relax and catch up.     =)

End of the Year

We all know that the year end is approaching closer. Simply said, aims for the current year were meant to met and with a new beginning with higher expectations. Unfortunately most of us are great believers who are able to talk big and do so little. My accomplishments for this year were not sensational but reasonable I must say. I’ve learned how to be a better dog owner and grown much more as a whole. My demeaned self-centered persona has now relinquished.

My day to day basis consist of waking up early at 5 am and being at work at least half an hour before I start my job.  So far, I’ve been very efficient. People who have known me in the past would have been shocked to death knowing this as I am not the same person as I used to be. As I play a small role in a corporate company I feel contented in some ways that I have found new friends (just a few) whom I can sit and laugh along with. I still feel lonely in most days as I start missing my life back home. I can’t look back anymore ever since I have chose the life and lifestyle I have decided to lead. I just hope that in near future I get to taste the missings I have been missing from where I came from.

RACIST

It’s no longer Fun being home all the time. For the past couple of months I have been trying sufficiently hard to look for a job. To my utter most despair no one would want to hire me. I’ve been getting reasonable amount of bullshit excuses saying that I do not have enough experience in a call centre. Truth is I have more than 3 years of experience sitting in a cubicle talking to people who has no face with just their private information in front of me and needless to say another smacking 3 years as a front liner which I was required to see clients face to face.

I didn’t even get through to first base!! Hello where’s my interview?! I’ve been sending my resume out almost everyday and I don’t even get a callback! People here have doubts on me cause all my referrals are in KL. Yeah so what if I don’t have any history here in Australia that doesn’t mean I don’t have qualities and experience that they are looking for. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Here I am a desperate lil tramp hungry for a job. The least you could do is do a background check on me instead of shutting me without looking at it. I have patience sitting for long hours talking crap. I have more than enough fake smiles till my cheeks turn to stone and start aching when I was trying to represent my company’s goods to sell.

You no what I honestly feel there’s a racist issue here. It’s not like I’m an illegal person here. For cheese sakes, I even have a tax file number. Hire me and let me make used of it!

Dull

Things have been dull. Besides planting and working in a kitchen for free.. there’s nothing up and coming. I’ve been sending out resumes to several companies and there has been no signs of positivity. I’m still waiting for a call but none have I received. Well there was one, but it turned sour. I was interviewed by 3 women in a room. I felt so intimidated I practically flunk it.

I really wanna go home. I realized that my days in Perth are nothing more than waiting for the day that I get sent to the old folks by my dogs.

Sun Comes Up

I’ve been so pathetic about the miscarriage that I was finding reasons and faults on how it happened. Now flashbacks. I ate pineapples for 2 nights straight. Could I blame my indulgence on this acidic fruit that killed the embryo?

Well, if you must know my depression only lasted for 3 days. During this so-like-ala-ala-dying-days all I did was cry. When the fourth day arrived, I realized that I was bubbly again. I came out with new ideas on how to flourish the backyard so Wes and I went to nurseries. I bought myself a lemon tree and a tahitian lime tree. The following day we got more trees such as mandarin and kamquats. You can say that I buried my sorrow beneath the trunks alongside with the sheep poo mixture that fertilizes the soil. I also managed to google a few more nurseries that sells more citrus trees and a large range of japanese cherry blossoms. I think it’s gonna look pretty good in our backyard when it’s all done.

Since one of our living area is still empty, we’ve placed an order for custom-made ottomans and a large shaggy 3mx3m rug to fill in the area. It should be ready by the 3rd week of July. I’m excited.

Miscarriage

Sharp pains right below was ongoing the whole day yesterday. It was unbearable. Wes rushed home in the afternoon to take me to a doctor. I explained to the doctor what I was going through and he said,”It’s a sign of miscarriage. You can take ponstan to ease the pain. I will write you a referral so you can make an appointment on Friday to do an ultrasound to find out whether the process is complete or incomplete. If the process is not complete a minor surgery will perform in the hospital to clean out the embryo so there won’t be any infection inside your uterus. By nature, it will clean itself up just like your monthly period. Your body is at your weakest this point so the most important is to get more rest and make some double boiled soup when the bleeding is over. You are both still young, there’s plenty of time to try again.”

I guess a part of me knew what was happening and the explanation from the doctor made it clear for me. I pity my husband.. he was so happy he couldn’t keep the good news to himself and had to share it with everyone he knew that he was going to be a father. Now he is in denial.

In the middle of last night, I was woken up by a dream so I got out of bed and went to pee. After I flushed the toilet I realized something was gonna fall out and I couldn’t run. So I held my new sanitary pad under and it fell onto it. To my shock, it was the embryo..my baby. It had a little tail, covered in half blood, some veins and looked pale. I finally knew how it looked like. I’m still bleeding excessively today. It should be over soon.

I am healing physically and mentally. Emotionally I am a wreck. I tried to tell myself that this baby was too soon anyway. It’s not what we planned. It just took one week to be in heaven and suddenly I am falling from grace.

Cramps O’ Mighty.

This past one week has been over the moon and awfully devastating. On Monday 7 days ago.. I did a pregnancy test kit and found out that I am going to be a mother. Too soon than I expected, Wes and I cried with tears of joy. We were unable to book into any hospitals unless we have a referral from our GP. So we went to our clinic doctor yesterday to reconfirm the status. Doctor said that I am now 6weeks pregnant. I told the doctor that I have been having mild spot bleeding over the weekend. He replied,”This is very common for the first 12weeks. The embryo is trying to cling onto the womb so scrapes of blood is not unusual on this moment. Your body is also trying to adjust itself for the growth of the embryo so there’s nothing to worry. If you see signs of chunky blood clots or heavy blood flows this will usually lead to a miscarriage. There is no point doing a scan now cause it’s too early. You need to wait till you are 8weeks”. That was a sign of relief and we thought the nightmare was over.

By the time I got home last evening at 5, something didn’t seem quite right. The blood flow was no longer faint or fresh blood when I wipe. I decided to wear a sanitary pad to monitor. The blood flow was pretty much the same as my first day of period. There were stringy tiny clots and the toilet bowl turned into a pool of blood. This carried on the whole night when I went to pee twice in the middle of the night. I was too exhausted to think of anything and went straight back to sleep. By the time it was 10 in the morning, I went to pee again.. this time a size of a 50cent chunk of blood clot dropped. From that moment, I can only prepare myself for the worse to happen. Bleeding hasn’t stopped yet and what I don’t understand is why the hospitals here don’t allow us to go for an ultrascan. I honestly don’t think I’m normal anymore. Something is not doing fine inside me. I need to consult a bloody doctor!!

POrky

Pork and I have not been in the same page lately. Wesley gave me a task to cook my signature pork dish that has gotten endless compliments (though most are just bullshit). It started off pretty good as I dunk in my regular ingredients and some new ones just to spice things up. After an hour of simmering.. the smell and taste was exactly how I wanted it to be. So, as usual I leave the pot by itself under low heat to tenderize the pork further. After half an hour of absence in the kitchen I realized that something didn’t smell quite right so I ran over to my pot. To my horror, It dried up..the shitake mushrooms, black fungus and lily lotus knots were all burnt. How is this possible that it got stuck to the pot when it is a non-stick pot!

This is prolly the third time I’ve murdered our dinner. Not too sure what’s wrong with me.

There goes our dinner. This might sound outrageous, but I took out all the pork washed it under boiling water to remove the bitter taste of toasted pot. Minced more garlic and changed the pork dish into Kylie Kwong’s recipe. It actually worked.

Before the skin turns Fugly

I’ve always realized that the beautiful things in life are NEVER free but the good things in life are. Most of us often crave for things that are far out of reach yet for a minority amount of people it does come true. So, I want to be that minority with all the beauty that life has to offer.

Above all the either or, perhaps and maybes .. frantically I’m a born dreamer (my droopy eyes proves it) who loves to dream with hopes for miracles. Many unbelievable fantasies of mine have came true over the years and this is the reason why I’ve never given up on big dreams. It might take years to come and time will prevail that all great wonders in life often comes in small packages. Such as diamonds..lol. I am a small package myself.. Standing tall only at 5ft 3inch..

I do fear the age of hitting 30 though I am only in my 20s.. This reminds me of my husband who is gonna jump to his big 4-0. We are a decade apart in age if you must know. The signs of wrinkles, fine lines, muffin belly and sagging tits are beginning to haunt me. I don’t go for facials but I do invest in great skin products. I am here to introduce the brand Karin Herzog. It’s a medical-grade quality skin care from Switzerland. I came across this brand a couple of years ago when I was on my holiday in Hong Kong. I was in Lane Crawford to hunt for Hylexin eye cream for dark circles (I bought it but it doesn’t work and it cost me 1100HKD!!) Anyway, Karin Herzog was doing a promotion for it’s oxygen face cream, mild scrub and milk cleanser. I bought it though I knew nothing about it then. I must say, the oxygen cream has immediate results. The ingredients control break outs, allowing my skin to breathe normally, illuminates, looking younger and healthy. Best of all, it absorbs into your skin so quick you don’t need to massage it in. As for the scrub, this exfoliating product removes dead cells, smoothens and polishes out rough areas with it’s premium quality of ground white marble powder. The best I’ve used. Oh by the way, after I’ve finished my tube of oxygen cream, I’m gonna switch to it’s Vita-A Kombi 1. It has everything the oxygen cream has but the difference is that it revitalizes cells and speeds up cell renewal. Also contains vitamin A for anti-ageing properties.

I’ve decided to stay loyal to this brand for now. But I do have the intention of purchasing some of SK-II’s products when I’m back in KL. No harm done.

A good week.

So much for having the bed all to myself. I’ve been having great dreams and untroubled ZZzzZZzzzzzz. This is our first encounter of being apart after the marriage. I’m so getting the hang of it.

Unfortunately, my hubby wanted to give me a surprise by returning a day earlier from their fishing trip. So instead of Friday they got home on Thursday. I was surprised indeed with the fugly looking tan they had from under the sun. Wesley looked like a roast chicken, my uncle looked like red curry with over cooked beef (good in a way, it covered his pigmentation) and his friend.. I didn’t notice that much cause I never paid attention to how he was before.

Wes accompanied me to take the doggies out on their daily stroll around the neighborhood park. Wes reported every scoop happening during the trip. On some occasion, it was amusing and yet awkward as hell. He was plain bitching on the odd behavior of my uncle’s friend. He didn’t talk much for days and stayed pretty much in a corner. Poor bugger who doesn’t speak english. He must have suffered for 5 days there.

On Friday, we made plans to head over to the city.. Last day for my uncle and his mate to buy things that they wanted to bring home to their family. When we got to the supermarket.. they grabbed at least 50 boxes of breakfast bars and chocolate bars. I was jaw dropping. If I can recall correctly, I’ve seen these 3 bars in a box back home in KL. So, why would they wanna buy something that they can find in KL. Even with price difference.. it wouldn’t be that much now would it?

Anyways, we had dinner in one of my selected restaurants. It’s called Royal Chinese Seafood Restaurant in Aberdeen St. It was a good meal altogether.

My uncle and his friend caught an early flight on Saturday and Wes drove them to the airport at 5.30am. I didn’t get to give my uncle a hug nor did we bid farewell. I was still in slumberland. By the time I got up.. it was already 2 in the afternoon. The house was quiet again. I’m missing my uncle already.

And for now, I have my husband all to myself after so many days without him.